Penelope Pond
by DemigodDaughterOfTheTARDIS
Summary: They always knew that Garcia was adopted, and that she had another family out there somewhere. They just didn't expect that other family to be so... odd.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N~ Here we go! The idea for this fic is not mine, actually. Well, it kind of is. It came from a line in criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak's story "Of Love Songs and Old Movies," where Reid says that he thinks Garcia could be River Song's crazy twin. So I saw that, got permission from criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak, and here you go!**

 **Please review to let me know who you would like the team to meet next! It can be** _ **anyone**_ **from the Whoniverse, unless they are unable to be around the Doctor in canon. (So Rose Tyler and Donna Noble are not options, but Amy and Rory are). Or, if you have ideas as to** _ **how**_ **they could meet certain people, feel free to let me know about that as well!**

 **I will not post the next chapter until I receive at least 5 suggestions!**

 **Disclaimer:** I sadly do not own either Doctor Who or Criminal Minds.

Garcia's P.O.V.

" _Jinkies, am I glad that Hotch asked me to travel with the team on this case."_ I thought wryly, as soon as I saw the suspect sitting in the interrogation room. I'd never met the man in person, but my twin sister had shown me photos of him many times.

Turning to my chocolate Adonis, I asked, "This guy is a suspect? He looks like he couldn't hurt a fly!"

Morgan just shrugged. "I don't know, Baby Girl. He was found at the latest crime scene, standing over the body."

 _Oh, now isn't that just bloody typical._ I thought with a snort.

The only question now was how to get in there to talk to him...

I pondered that one as I went to see what I could "find out" about our guest. In reality, though, I was going to call Dr. Martha Jones, one of my best friends outside of the team. She'd be able to come and pick up the Doctor - and if she didn't pick up, then I'd just have to call my sister.

I returned to the team just in time to see Rossi come out of the interrogation room, completely out of patience. "I give up, Hotch!" he thundered. "All that guy will tell me is that his name is 'the Doctor', and that he didn't kill that woman, it was 'a Krillitane'."

"What the hell is a Krillitane?" Morgan asked, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from answering.

"Were you able to find anything on him, Garcia?" Hotch asked, turning everyone's attention towards me.

"Yes sir." I said, pulling out the file that my sister had given me ages ago, and had told me to always keep on me.

"Your "Doctor" is one Mr. John Song, of Leadworth, England. He is married to a Mrs. River Song, no kids, no other family. However, he is a technical genius, working for UNIT. He has made more advancements alone than anyone else in history."

I recognized my opening. "Sir? May I try talking to him?"

Everyone stared at me in surprise, causing me to hurriedly elaborate.

"I mean, he might talk to someone who he sees as being on his level." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "And I think I might be able to trip him up, or at least surprise him. I'm not exactly what anyone pictures when they think of a FBI agent, you know."

Hotch thought about it for a minute, then conceded the point. "Go ahead. But if anything goes wrong, know that we will be in there within seconds.

I smiled. "I know sir. I'll be fine." Then I took a deep breath, and walked into interrogation.

 _The Doctor's P.O.V._

I had been sitting in a tiny room, handcuffed to a table, for what felt like _years._ They had confiscated my sonic screwdriver, so I couldn't use that to undo the cuffs. I didn't like the cuffs at all. Never really did, actually.

 _Except when you're with River…._ the traitorous voice in my head said slyly, making me blush and squirm uncomfortably.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a woman came inside. There was something instantly familiar about her, I just couldn't place it.

She was shorter than I was - most humans were - and dressed in some of the loudest clothing I had ever seen. However, she pulled off the bright yellow jumper; yellow, green, and blue dress; and neon green heels that she wore. In fact, I was pretty sure that River had those same shoes in red…..

"Hello there." The woman said cheerfully, sitting down across from me. "What's your name?"

"I'm the Doctor." I said, fully expecting the same reaction that I had recieved from the loud Italian man. This woman took me by surprise, though.

She tilted her head ever so slightly, and asked, "Doctor _Who?"_

That took me slightly by surprise. What came out of her mouth next completely shocked me, though.

"Although, 'Doctor' just doesn't seem to fit you." She said, consulting the file that she brought in with her. "You seem more like a… Theta."

I nearly fell out of my chair in shock. I probably would have, too, if not for the handcuffs they had put on me. "That - that was my nickname back at the Academy…" I stuttered. "How on Gallifrey could you possibly know that?"

"It was in your file." She said, winking at me.

"No it wasn't!" I protested. "Who are you? What's your name?" Just then, someone else came in the room. It was one of the FBI agents - a tall, dark one.

"Garcia, there's someone here to take custody of him - she says she knows you." he said.

She nodded, and got up to leave. "It was nice meeting you, Doctor." she said to me.

I fought against the cuffs, determined to find out who she was. "WHO ARE YOU?" I roared.

She turned back to look at me, and smiled. "Ah ah ah." She said playfully.

" _Spoilers."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Takes place during the Criminal Minds episode "Penelope", and after Torchwood Series One.**

 **These do NOT go in order. They will be spread out and skipping through the Criminal Minds 'Verse and Whoniverse in a very timey-wimey fashion.**

 _Cardiff, Wales_

 _Roahl Dahl Plass_

 _Torchwood Hub_

It was a normal morning - or at least, as normal as things could ever get. This was Torchwood, after all. Ianto Jones had just finished up another round of coffee, and was starting to deliver it to the humans who dwelt in the Hub. He had made his rounds to Toshiko, Owen, and Gwen, and was just about to climb the stairs to the Captain's office when an alarm started blaring.

That in itself wasn't unusual, alarms went off all of the time. The Rift Alarm was going off nearly constantly, it seemed. What was unusual, though, was the alarm itself. Ianto Jones prided himself on knowing everything there was to know about Torchwood. Since he was the one who took care of the massive Archives, he knew every bit of protocol, every secret that Torchwood had ever had. He knew the Institute even better than his immortal lover did.

Which was why it was a surprise when this alarm went off. Because it made a sound that he had never heard before.

Obviously, the Captain knew what it was for, because he came barrelling out of his office mere moments after it went off.

"Ianto!" he called out, and the young man stood just that little bit straighter.

"Yes, sir?" he called.

Jack didn't even slow down as he made his way over to the coatrack by the door where the coat was kept. Ianto followed after him out of habit more than anything else, helping the older man into his coat before smoothing out the shoulders. "You're with me." the Captain said, finishing his earlier command, before shouting, "Owen! You're in charge until we get back!"

"Where are you going, Jack?" Gwen asked, sounding almost frantic at the thought of going without the immortal man for an unknown amount of time.

"A friend's in trouble." he said darkly as the cog door wheeled opened with it's usual blaring alarms. "We're just going to go and give her a hand."

8888

Jack explained the whole thing in a lot more detail to Ianto once they had commandeered seats on the first plane to Washington, D.C. that they could find.

"Martha was the one who told me about Penny first." he explained. Ianto had already known about the Year by that point - Jack had told him about it shortly after they started spending the night together. He had thought that it was only fair that his young lover know exactly why he was being woken up every night by Jack's screaming. "She had met her at one of the girls' nights that some of the Doctor's old companions like to put together. She's the daughter of two of the Doctor's future companions, as well as something else, but she wouldn't say what. She claimed 'Spoilers'. But then I met her later on, when she hacked into our servers."

"I remember that." Ianto said, grimacing slightly. "Tosh went absolutely mental." And it was true. The petite Japanese woman had spent ages going through mainframe, trying to find out exactly what had happened.

"Yeah, well, turns out she was looking for us. She had some information about a possible invasion that was about to happen, and no one at UNIT would listen to her."

Ianto was impressed by the sound of this woman. But something about it still confused him. "Why didn't she just call?"

That was when Jack started to laugh. "According to her, it was faster to do things her way."

Ianto looked at him in surprise as his words sank in, and when they did the Welshman couldn't help but laugh. Jack looked confused. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, I'm just imagining what would happen if she were ever to meet our Toshiko."

That had Jack bursting out laughing as well. "Probably take over the world!"

8888

Penelope Garcia was waking up for the second time since she had arrived in the hospital when there was a commotion outside of her room.

"Sir, you can't go in there!" she was still a bit hazy from sleep, but she would know Derek Morgan's voice anywhere.

The next voice wasn't as familiar to her, but one word that it said was. "Let me through, we're with Torchwood."

 _Torchwood._

That could only mean one thing.

It was immensely difficult to do, but she slowly began to get out of bed.

8888

Jack didn't care how handsome the man blocking his way was. If he didn't let him see Penny now, he was going to shoot the man.

"Let me through, damnit!" he cursed, knowing that Ianto was right behind him. That was the only thing that was keeping him from attempting anything - he might have been immortal, but his lover was all too mortal.

That was when he heard a familiar voice. "It's alright, Derek."

He pushed past the other man, moving to pull his friend into one of his famous bear-hugs. "Hiya Pen." he whispered, tears of relief nearly spilling over as he just reassured himself that she was still alive. That was the thing about Penelope, he had quickly learned. It didn't matter how long you had known her for. She was one of those people that would just weave their way past any defenses that you had set up, and claim a spot in your heart.

"Captain." she said in greeting, and despite her sub-par greeting her hug just as fierce as his was. Then she pulled away from him and smiled at something over his shoulder. Judging by the practically unholy gleam in her eyes, Jack had a pretty good idea of what exactly she had seen.

"Who's your friend?" she nearly purred, and Jack laughed even as he reached behind him to grab ahold of Ianto.

"He's mine, Penny." Jack said as he wrapped a possessive arm around the young Welshman. "Go find your own."

The young man smiled as she pouted. "Ianto Jones, ma'am." he said, holding out a hand to her. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine, sweet cheeks." Garcia responded flirtily, and the young man arched an eyebrow.

"She's like a female you." he remarked to the Captain, making both of them laugh.

That was when the man from before came over. "Garcia, you know these two?" he asked, shooting us looks.

The blonde woman nodded. "SSA Derek Morgan, I would like to introduce you to Captain Jack Harkness and SIC Ianto Jones." she said, and Ianto shot her a questioning look. "Jack's told me a lot about you." she explained, and the younger man couldn't help but blush at the thought of what exactly his lover had told her.

"So how do you know our technical goddess?" SSA Morgan asked, seeming to be a bit suspicious still.

"I don't." Ianto admitted, but Jack quickly spoke up.

"We have a… mutual friend." he said evasively, while still answering the question. Then he turned back to the blonde woman. "So what happened?"

"I got shot." she admitted, sounding slightly sheepish. Then something occurred to her. "How did you know something had happened, anyway?"

It was Jack's turn to be sheepish. "I may have set up an alert system using Mainframe." he admitted. "As soon as any of our… _friends_ get in touch with emergency services, I get alerted."

Garcia laughed, although her eyes shone with fondness. "I'm fine, Jack. The worst that could happen right now would be if River found out what happened."

The immortal man shuddered playfully. "You can say that again."

8888

 _Morgan's P.O.V._

Something about these two wasn't adding up. I had never heard her mention this 'Captain Jack Harkness' before, which was just weird. Baby Girl usually told me everything.

He had also mentioned Torchwood, which was something that I had never heard of before. He had acted like it should have meant something, but I didn't know what. Normally I could have called Garcia for information, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't be willing to help this time.

I was going to get to the bottom of this. No matter what…

 **A/N~ So, to be completely honest, I had forgotten that this story existed. It was really meant to be a one-shot, but there was so much positive feedback that I decided to add to it.**

 **Please let me know if there are any other special people that the BAU team needs to meet!**

 **Thank you to Village-Mystic, Moi, PainInSilence, thedogzoo, Tie-Dyed Broadway, Guest, and Guest for their reviews!**


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